I just wish I was still pregnant with him today. It just hurts so much to know that he isn't inside me anymore. I'm so sad that S won't get to be an older brother to his little brother. I'm so sad that I won't get to hold Christopher and rock him, feed him, and take care of him.
I have regrets today too - I feel bad that I didn't hold him longer. I'm really sad that I didn't have the nurses take a picture of me holding him. I'm sad that we didn't take any pictures of our own - of his perfect little feet, or his perfect little hands, of his daddy looking at his youngest son.
I wish I could feel his kicks inside me. I wish I could see my stomach getting bigger. I wish I needed to buy maternity clothes, and a car seat, and a crib and diapers. I wish I was still pregnant with him.
- Andie
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