Thursday, April 17, 2008

It's so real today

It's been three weeks since I found out his little heart wasn't beating anymore. I'm actually functioning better than I was last week, but my heart is just really realizing today that he is really, really gone today. I'm just SO SAD. Not to mention, the kids have all been sad about it the past couple days after not talking about it much since it happened (well, with the exception of S. He talks almost daily about how he is going to put on his Super Cape and go get the baby and bring him back - oh, if only it was that easy.)

There have been other reminders today - Today, I looked at myself in the mirror and I don't look pregnant anymore. Today, my pre-pregnancy clothes fit again. Today was the first day we didn't get any sympathy cards in the mail. And the cemetary called and said that his permanent grave marker was placed today.

- Andie

2 comments:

Jules said...

((Hugs)) Andie. Still thinking of you and your Christopher each and every day.

Jules

Kristen said...

Oh my gosh, Andie...I just had the courage to check my blog and read what you wrote....I am completely in tears....I am so sorry for your loses, sorry for the gap I've put between PALP and me, I'm sorry I wasnt there for you -- I can only hope you know how very very much I love you and how very very much I am sad for your loss...(((HUGS))) to you my dear friend......ugh.