Christmas is harder, since you left.
I found out that I was pregnant with you on December 24th, 2007. I spent all of Christmas Day just smiling. It was still just a secret between you and I.
Last Christmas was so difficult. It was so hard to be excited about the birth of a Son, when all that I wanted was to be able to be sharing a first Christmas with our second son. I cried most of December. I don't remember much of last Christmas Day except that we went out to your grave. The marker was covered with snow, and we had to sweep it off. It was cold.
We were going to a Christmas party last weekend, and your brother was talking about you. He said "I wish Christopher could come to the Christmas party. I miss Christopher more at Christmas time."
I sometimes wonder whose heart is more broken because of your death - mine or your brother's.
